wait.... wrong fandom...
awkward...
Anyway...
Moving on...
Who saw Tommen Baratheon and Margaery Baratheon (Tyrell) joining up with the high sparrow coming? I mean... I, personally, figured Margaery would but I never thought Tommen would join as well! Let's hear it for that awkward moment when Jaime Lannister showed up with an army claiming to represent the king... Who just so happened to be in the sept getting his religion on and came out to reveal that he was indeed on the side of the religious bird-man.
They probably should have checked on the whereabouts of their golden-haired baby-king before storming the Sept "in his name"...
So that happened and now the separation of church and state is crushed like sparrow's egg between the thighs of the Zangief of religions.
Meanwhile, way up north where the air is cold and the true heroes hold the door (sorry.. I know... It still hurts), Bran Stark and Meera Reed are freezing. Meera collapses on the forest floor and shuffles her way through the snow to Bran who (finally) pops out of warg mode and tells her that the white walkers have found them.
What the shit, Bran?!
Well, right when you think that Bran's story-line is going to come to a quick, pointless, and stupid ending, a mysterious hooded stranger rides in on horseback and sends those icy bastards back to where they belong! But wait... Who is this crazy awesome ice-zombie killer?
None other than Benjen Stark!!!
Where the heck have you been, man?!?
Oh, right. You've been almost turned into a white walker and then saved from that horrible, icy fate. Well, welcome back, Benjen! I am loving how all of these Starks are just popping up out of the snow like daisies!
Moving to a warmer location:
Arya Stark messed up AGAIN! She finally got a second chance to kill someone and become a faceless man (woman?). Jaqen H'ghar tells her that it is her last chance and that either way the many faced god will gain a face. So what does she do? She decides to grow a conscious and saves the person she was going to kill!
Does this mean that the faceless men are after her now?
Probably.
Does she care?
Not one bit.
Bonus: Needle is back and the Stark family has (re)gained one more member!
Continuing on our journey to warmer lands: We have Daenerys Targaryen travelling through the desert with all of her new/regained Dothraki followers. Here she stops the whole dang caravan to prove to us that she didn't take the time to plan things out completely.
"How many ships will I need?"
"Who has that many ships?"
"No one? Well, I will just have to wing it."
These are... Not direct quotes but it sums up the whole conversation she has with Daario Naharis before she disappears and leaves everyone behind twiddling their thumbs.
On the bright side, after she has been gone for quite some time (long enough for Daario to tell everyone he is going to prance off to find her) she returns on the back of her largest and favorite dragon, Drogon!
Just look at how big that little baby has grown!
In this moment we were all proud mommies and daddies.
Then, of course, Daenerys gives a power speech while sitting atop her scaly, fire-breathing baby and rallies all of the Dothraki with a glorified version of "I don't have a favorite child, I love you all in different ways and for different reasons". To which the Dothraki all responded, "Yay! Mommy loves me!"
Now, while all of this motivational speaking,dragon riding, white walker slaying, and religious conversion is going on, my favorite story was developing. Samwell Tarly has brought Gilly to his family's home, Horn Hill. In the carriage we are audience to some talk about the greenery, the country, and the fact that he forgot to mention that his father is very anti-wildling... Like, there is Hitler-level hatred going on here. (Ooops!)
There we are greeted by Sam's loving and welcoming mother, Melessa Tarly, (who seems stoked to be a grandmother) and his overly chatty younger sister, Talla Tarly, who is going to soon be married off to someone she doesn't seem too fond of. She, however, makes immediate friends with Gilly and sweeps her away to a bath and a new wardrobe!
Cut to dinner!
Everyone is there: Randyll Tarly (Sam's father) , Melessa, Talla, Dickon (Sam's younger brother), Samwell, and Gilly!
Samwell's father punctuates his insults (aimed at none other than our gentle Sam) with small bites of food as he glares so hard his eyes almost completely shut. Eventually Gilly can't stand his bullying any longer and starts telling Randyll off and casually letting slip that she is from north of the wall. At this point, Randyll turns his insults and hate-glare at her. He then directs her attention to the Valerian steel sword hanging up on the wall and informs her that it is called "Heartsbane" and that Samwell is SUPPOSED to inherit it but he won't... like...ever.
Sam's mother says something like, "You don't need help making an ass out of yourself" and drags Gilly and Talla out of the dining hall. When the ladies have left Randyll tells Sam that he will house Gilly and little baby Sam (who is, by the way, super adorable). He will have her work in the kitchen under the condition that Sam leaves at first light.
Sam makes his way to Gilly's room to apologize and say goodbye. After a conversation that tears at your heart strings and Sam telling Gilly (through him choking back tears) to say goodbye to little Sam for him, he leaves the room and you are left with this feeling of, "WHY?!? NO!!! STAY WITH HER!!!".
That scene goes on for what seems like ages...
Until BOOM!
In bursts Sam telling Gilly to pack her things. (And Gilly pointing out that she has no things to pack.) He tells her that they are leaving and then it cuts to the three of them in the dining hall where Sam is, *GASP*, stealing Heartsbane! Gilly asks what will happen if Randyll tries to come after the sword (and them in the process) to which Sam replies, "Let him try."
Does this mean he is going to start his own house with the help of Jon and the wildlings? Is he just showing some teenager-like rebellion? Is he trying to step up and be a man for his little namesake?
Do you have a theory of what is to come? Do you just want to gush about all of the awesomeness in this episode? Do you just want to say, "Hi"? Leave a comment! We will respond!
