Showing posts with label review. Show all posts
Showing posts with label review. Show all posts

Friday, June 22, 2018

Who Killed Mavis Beacon – The Lynchian Games Of David Lynch Teaches Typing & Black Lodge 2600


If you don’t know or don’t like David Lynch, I just don’t know what to do with you. He is a master of surreal, avaunt-garde works that somehow has proven mainstream appeal. Which I believe we all can agree kind of shouldn't happen. He’s a filmmaker, writer, visual artist and musician whom in my opinion has never created anything without merit.

Yes, even this one.


One medium Mr. Lynch has never tackled is video games. There are many great games that share his themes or take heavy influence from the man’s work. I’m sure I will spotlight a few of these in the future but today we will focus on two of the smaller releases that make direct reference to him and his works.

I’ve got some things to say about you, Deadly Premonition. But that’s for another time.


Let us start with the edu-tainment of David Lynch Teaches Typing


David Lynch Teaches Typing


 

Allow me to be honest with you. I cannot type. My typing skills can be best described as a disgruntled chicken on a meth binge. So when I first heard of a retro styled typing tutor featuring everyone’s favorite beautifully coiffed surrealist, I thought my dreams had come true. In a way they did. Not the pleasant ones though. More so the fever dreams of an ill-advised Nyquil and Luis Bunuel marathon.

Its starts simple enough, an Apple IIE-esque Lynch appears on screen and introduces himself. Once the games begins, it is incredibly straight forward. Mr. Lynch explains the home row and we follow some very rudimentary instructions. Something tells me it won’t stay that way.

This is the kind of positive reinforcement I need in my everyday life.
Now, I find myself in a delicate situation. I’d love to give you all a full play by play, but David Lynch Teaches typing is a great but very short (e.g. a few minutes) game that I do recommend you experience

But I will tell you this happens.


Black Lodge 2600



Hipsters young and old, rejoice! You can now play out your Dale Cooper fantasies in glorious lo-fi. Black Lodge 2600 is both a love letter to Twin Peaks and the simplified gameplay of the Atari 2600. As opposed to DLTT, this is more of a traditional game experience.

A game with a white horse symbolizing death, just like Grandma used to make.


Black Lodge is definitely more fleshed out. Don’t worry though, it is still strange. I give a lot of credit to designer Jak Locke for the detail that went into this. With era specific box art, cartridge art, and manual, Black Lodge feels complete.

If someone wants to custom load this onto a cart, my birthday is in August. Just sayin'.

You play as Agent Dale Cooper trying to escape the Black Lodge. Starting in the Red Room, you meet The Little Man From Another Place whilst a chiptune version of “Sycamore Trees” plays. Throughout the game you will encounter Leland Palmer, Laura Palmer, and Killer Bob all while being pursued by The Doppelganger as you attempt to find your way out.

This game is quite fun and due to it’s simple Atari nature, its necessarily replayable (translation: You will die a lot and I don’t know if there is a proper ending.) Black Lodge 2600 is definitely a recommend for both Twin Peaks and retro game fans.

Ultimately, both titles are labors of love to Lynch and his oeuvre that I feel succeed in their missions. Since all these games will cost you is time, I recommend you give them a play. You can snag them at the links below.




Until next time.



Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Welcome To The Spiral, Young Wizards!

So you are interested in playing


There are a few things that you absolutely need to know about this game before you decide if you actually do want to play.

There is NO fee, that is, unless you want to venture outside of Wizard City. KingsIsle needs to make money to maintain the servers, don’t they? You have some options here that are best described with a screenshot of The Wizard101 website.


Membership prices vary a little bit if you are paying on a monthly basis,

$9.95 / month for one account
$6.95 / month per account (Family Plan) multiple accounts

  Also, if you do not want to make monthly payments, you can pay a year at a time, the regular price of this is $120, or you can try to catch the yearly fee on a discounted weekend, with savings ranging up to 50% off the full price, bringing the price to $59.99USD. BUT wait, the options are not through there.  If you do not have a credit card, or do not feel comfortable using a credit card online, you can purchase “Membership Cards” at various retail stores! This leads us to the other form of play; Crown Players.

Crown Players are those that do not want the responsibility of a monthly membership, or a yearly membership, but want to “pay as you go”.  Premium Worlds (worlds after Wizard City) can be bought with crowns.  Crowns KingsIsle’s in-game currency used to buy premium items; Castles, housing items,  housing expansions, Pets, Mounts, Armor Sets and Skins, ect…). Each area or a world (starting with late Wizard City areas) cost a number of crowns to access without a membership.  The Total number of Crowns to unlock the entire game from start to finish is currently 155,335 Crowns. This is a changing number as they add worlds at least once a year.  Crowns can be purchased from either a Pre-Paid Membership Card, directly from KingsIsle, or via a relatively new in-game feature in the upper left hand corner of the actual game. It looks like THIS:
(The Earn Crowns Option MUST be ON in order to see the Icon)

(Green “Earn Crowns” Button in the Upper Left Corner)

Crowns can be bought directly from KingsIsle:  HERE 
Prices for Different Worlds can he found: HERE 

ON TO A BREAKDOWN OF THE PRE-PAID CARDS!

There are 4 different priced types of cards that very between the various stores, and of those four prices there are different “extras” depending on what store you are shopping at.  For Instance, a $20USD card purchased at Wal-Mart, and one Purchased at BestBuy will have a different Pet attached to it, and The pets change monthly, check the Website for up-to-date pet information.

Card Prices with Extra Information

  $10 – One Month of Membership OR 5000 Crowns

$20 – Two Consecutive Months of Membership OR 10,000 Crowns

$29 – One Month Membership OR 5000 Crowns, Special Housing, Weapon Set, Pet OR Mount

$39 – One Month Membership OR 5000 Crowns, House, Armor Set, Mount AND Pet


Pre-Paid Cards can be purchased at these Locations
                                                                                                                                                                 
 Wal-Mart  -  $10, $20, $29, $39

 Target  -  $20, $29, $39

 BestBest  -  $20 ONLY

 GameStop  -  $10, $20, $29, $39

 Aafes (military store)   -  $10, $20

 Circle K  -   $10

 CVS  -  $20

 Dollar General  -  $10 , $20

 Fred’s Super Dollar  -  $10 , $20

 Family Dollar  -  $10, $20

 Hastings   -  $10

 Meijr  -  $10, $20

 Speedway  -  $20

 Toys’r’Us  -  $10, $20

 Rite Aid  -  $20

 or Online from The Wizard101 Website HERE 
(There are options for our International Friends as well, just click on your flag to see your Options)



...............



..............

Hey SHITHEAD, you can’t say that!

Wizard101 prides itself on its Family Friendly environment, and with children playing, comes great verbal censorship. If you are typing and a word comes up RED then no one will see anything other than “….”. Also there are age settings that determine what can and cannot be seen while typing as well. Over 18 years old and you can see all text minus words that are forbidden.  Other words can show up in Yellow, this means that only people over the age of 18 can see them. This includes numbers, and nonsensical things like “093280hfw*#0jidNf20” this is to prevent people from giving other players their passwords. If you are caught trying to bypass the chat filters there could be punishments ranging from a simple timed chat ban, to account suspension, and even permanent IP Banning in the worst cases.

 Get a Better Idea about the Functionality of Wizard101’s Safety Features for Young Adults and Children

…   HERE  …  


Remember Wizards, this is a Family Game, all that is asked, is to be mindful of that fact.

We look Forward to seeing you in the Spiral.


Special Thanks to Iridian ShadowHunter for helping me get the various card values.




Monday, June 13, 2016

Get the FUNK down here!

Hey there gamelings! 
Sorry about the radio silence.
I was in El Paso, TX!
And everyone else was doing....
stuff....

Anyway!
While I was AFK on family matters, I had the chance to stop by a REALLY awesome place with my mom and cousin, Scott!
Funkmeyers Rec Room.

An 80's and 90's themed arcade bar and grill!


thor hishe how it should have ended say whaaat

Off Lee Travino Drive, on the east side of El Paso, is a fairly unassuming commercial neighborhood.
 You'll see the usual:
car dealerships
fast food
salons
restaurants
It all seems to blend into a crude amalgamation of buildings. That is, until you hit Towne Center. This strip-mall stands out with it's colorful flag-shaped art and signs. The height alone is unlike the rest of the neighborhood. Spotted with evergreen shrubs and tinted windows, the Towne Center is both inviting and intriguing.


This is where Funkmeyers Rec Room calls home.
Funkmeyers, like many of the other Towne Center businesses, has tinted windows. This makes it impossible to know what you will walk into when you enter.



Let's check it out!

When you enter, you are greeted by this fella!

Look! It's me and Danky Kang! Hi world!




Right past this huge, wonderful, majestic statue-beast is a wave-like wall of nostalgia (in both images and paraphernalia). Along this wonderful wall is a bench seat in bright neon green and scattered along it are tables with chairs allowing for a quiet and cool place to sit and reminisce with friends!




Immediately you are surrounded by music and television from the 1980s and 1990s! It is a completely immersive experience!
Cool, right?
Moving right along...
To the right of this wonderful wall of nostalgia and awesome is the bar!


Populated with a plethora of potent potions and titillatingly teaming with technology and televisions, this is a nice place to sit and enjoy a beverage while you talk to the incredibly friendly staff!

parks and recreation drunk drinking bar ann perkins

Moving on from the bar and my love of alliteration...
bar drinking the worlds end


FOOD AND DRINKS!
The food was phenomenal!
I ordered the Funkmeyer Burger (without candied onions because onions and I aren't friends) and a side of Mac'N'Cheese (because Mac'N'Cheese and I ARE friends). Scott ordered the Funkmeyer Burger with hand-cut fries. My mom ordered the Grilled Chicken Sandwich with hand-cut fries.

The burger was thick and juicy! Instead of just slapping a slice of cheese on that bad-boy (like most places would), Funkmeyers has WHIPPED CHEDDAR!
Yes...
Yes, I know...
This is now the only way I wish to ever experience cheddar again.
So they loaded that baby up with bacon and whipped cheddar and slapped it on a soft, pillowy, buttery bun from the gods.
The hand-cut fries were delicious and the Mac'N'Cheese was superb...
So much so that this happened quite often.

Thanks, guys... Go eat your own food!


For drinks (we had many) we sampled a couple of their teas and a couple of their signature Kool-Aid drinks.



We had (in order of image) Peach tea, Hibiscus tea, ECTO COOLER, and Purple Blurple.

The peach and hibiscus teas are fairly self explanatory, flavorful, and not too sweet!
The Ecto cooler is a tangerine drink that tastes just like the Hi-C drink of the past!
The Purple Blurple is a grape Kool-Aid drink that looks super cool (I'd comment on the taste if I could stand grape flavoring).

Now for the bit that I know you ALL want to hear about...
THE GAMES!










They have a whole wall (divided by a platform) lined with arcade games and televisions with other random games placed sporadically around the place!

"That's cool.." you say?
"It sounds like it could get super expensive though..." you continue?
Well, chill!

EVERY GAME IS FREE TO PLAY!!!

Yep... Free to play games, reasonably priced and DELICIOUS food and drinks, and enough nostalgia to make you say "talk to the hand" to haters and start celebrating girl power because backstreet's back!!

So head down to El Paso and check out Funkmeyers Rec Room at:
1506 N Lee Trevino Dr, Ste B1
El Paso, TX

or visit them at

Funkmeyers on Facebook

I will make sure to stop, collaborate, and listen next time I am in town again because, Funkmeyers Rec Room, Like A Prayer...

I'm never gonna give you up.