Attack of the Angry Gamer #1

Today’s topic?

  That SHIT right FRIKKEN THERE (the Pic guys)  

Why is Peach always in another castle? Why are the Toadies not an extinct race? Why am I even ranting about this?

….. Don’t expect an answer these or any other questions in this edition of …..

 Attack of the angry Gamer 
(Part 1)

Don’t get me wrong guys and gals, I am a repeat gamer, I will replay a game until I can 100% it with my eyes closed without even turning the console (or computer) on.

(here’s looking at you EVERY Final Fantasy console Title)

The point here being what’s up with companies spending the last 10+ years rehashing the same slop under the title of $$$$$?

COME ON I was denied a job at a local “Video Game Store” several months back because as a GAMER I refuse to pander to the mainstream acceptance of CoD and Whatever-the-Fuck-BS-FPS clone has been dominating the industry.

  FUCK . THAT . SHIT!!!!  

What the hell is even the point of those kind of games? Honestly people, these games are ruining it for the rest of us, you know who you are, Popped-Collar College Douche-Face, and Crap-Face Dot-Muncher…..

I know, I know…..

There are like a bazillion Final Fantasy, Zelda, Mario and OMG DON’T FORGET POKEMON games.

No Shit Sherlock! The difference you ask? They are different from themselves, each iteration in any of those series are completely different from each another. The mechanics are different with each separate title. No one Mario looks the same as any of its predecessors.

But your’re always saving the Princess!

Yes, because Princes Peach is a jerk and Mario is jealous because she’d rather spend her time with Bowser than him.

And every Zelda game is a piece of a much larger picture. They all fall into a timeline, a split timeline, but a timeline none the less.

Every Final Fantasy is a different story in different worlds.

Their title explains everything; they are the Final stories of their particular worlds. You as the main protagonist must stop the cataclysm that each game is facing.

And Pokemon.... oh sweet, sweet Pokemon.
Do we, as humans presume to know every species of plant and animal on this wide world of ours? No? Well, the same is true for the Pokemon games, new Pokemon are constantly being discovered, and we as the players are constantly reaping the rewards of those digital poke-biologists in the form of new games every few years. 

CoD 1 - ? ….. shoot all the things because this is war and we MUST be right because reasons! Wait what is the point of this again? Oh right, THERE IS NO POINT.

Why the hell does shit like that sell? No coherent story, brings out the worst in people (mainly children). People in multiplayer shouting obscenities at eachother and calling their FUCKING TEAMMATES things that would make a drunk sailor on shore leave blush…..

Way to make all of use nerds look like douche-bags, you shit-slinging rehash makers.

I’m looking at you Activision, BioWare, and Ubisoft.

In conclusion, well… there is no conclusion sometimes I need to fucking vent about something that is bothering me. If you disagree with any of this, good for you! That’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it. As I’m entitled to mine.

So I guess the conclusion is

SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP